Hairbrush Santa: “Well, have fun, kid. Street-fighting’s not really my bag, so I’m gonna find a hole to hide in and hope whoever’s alive at the end of this needs a hairstylist.”

Keith: “Okay, good luck. I’m gonna see if I can find my ear collection, and then get the hell out of here.”

Roadblockbot: “DO NOT ENTER. NO PSYCHOS ADMITTED PAST THIS ARGH!“

Guy: “À la vôtre!”

Voldo: “Hissssssssss!“

Wrench Guy: “Stay away from me with that loaf of bread! I have a gluten allergy!”

Femme de Pain: “Je ne vais pas vous inciter à le manger, je veux juste heurter votre tête dedans!”

Wrench Guy: “I don’t know what that means!”

Cop: “All right everybody, this is the police! I only just came out of the calendar, and I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal! So just put down your weapons, and–

Cop: “Ahhhh!”

Bolt Head: “Noisy man! KILL!”

Gun: “Pow! Kerpow!”

Recruit: “Don’t forget to reload, Dr. Freeman!”

Gordon: “…”

Recruit: “Ow! Hey! Ow!”

Gordon: “…”

Tinyhelicopterbot: “Whirrrr… rrrrr…. *clonk*”

Tinyfiretruckbot: “Bwooooooooooooooooop!“

Cindy: “How are we doing, Pie-in-the-sky?”

Billy: “Um, not that great actually. Basically all our unnamed guys are dead, and a bunch of the second-string robots. Dr. Freeman got distracted by a pallet-load of wooden crates, and now I think he’s trying to stack up some barrels so he can jump over a wall. I tried to tell him there’s nothing over there, but I don’t think he believes me.”

Cindy: “So much for heroes. All right, Santa, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Cindy: “Oh my god. I love you, Santa!”