From Ryan North’s Dinosaur Comics, basically the best idea ever.

Q: Vin Diesel walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night. What the hell?

A: Vin Diesel is a man.



So, there’ll be an interruption in our thrilling narrative, since I’m leaving town for a couple weeks for the holidays. Return at the end of the month for our exciting conclusion! And then discover that there’s actually like a dozen more days to go before that conclusion happens, since I’ll probably continue to do one post per advent calendar door per day.

In the meantime, if you use Game Center on some manner of Apple iDevice, why not send a friend request to Rifflesby? You’ll be able to see how much of my vacation I spend playing Puzzle Quest 2, which will be nearly as exciting as reading about a Lego man who needs another Lego man to help him push a wheelbarrow.



Sir Nigma: “How did this happen? Everything we’ve gotten so far has been reasonably sane. But a pig with an apple growing out of its back?”

Dude: “Hey guys, what’s going on?”

Marty: “Seriously. I’m pretty sure this is impossible by any natural means. It’s just nuts.”

Dude: “You guys need help pushing anything? I’m a fully licensed member of the Pusher’s Guild.”

Sir Nigma: “If you were going to cook this pig, and you put its own apple in its mouth, would that be weird? Like self-cannibalism?”

Dude: “Hello?”

Marty: “That’s… that’s kinda weird, yeah. Not as weird as a turducken, though.”



Sir Nigma: “I’m pretty sure there was something I was going to ask you, but then this pig with an apple growing out of its back showed up, and now I have no goddamn idea what it was.”

Marty: “Yeah, I hear ya. I was gonna do the ‘…a wizard’ thing again, but man. I can’t follow this.”



Sir Nigma: “Frankly, I’m disappointed.”

Marty: “Why, because we had to spend all day building a spectator balcony for Her Crabbiness?”

Sir Nigma: “Well yeah, but more specifically, I thought we were going to get a wizard today.”

Marty: “A wizard? Why?”

Sir Nigma: “Well, you put such a weird emphasis on ‘what do I look like… a wizard?’ yesterday, I assumed you knew something I didn’t.”

Marty: “How could I possibly know what gifts we’re going to get in advance? I’m not… a wizard!”



Sir Nigma: “Did a new person show up today?”

Marty: “Well, yes…”

Sir Nigma: “Sweet!”

Marty: “And then again, no.”

Sir Nigma: “…God damnit.

Marty: “I think Santa’s fuckin’ with you, man. He even gave us a third arm, as if to make some kind of sarcastic ‘Hey, you need an extra hand with that?’ joke.”

Sir Nigma: “I don’t suppose you know some kind of crazy necromantic trick to reanimate this dude?”

Marty: “Of course not! What do I look like… a wizard?”