I’ve gone back and tagged all the old Lego AdventUres posts, including the 2009 ones which weren’t narrative, but became the backstory to 2010 Calendars B and C. So, if you’d like to revisit the old stuff, or read it for the first time if you’re n…
Marty: “Nnnng. Ugh. What??? where am I?”Cindy: “You’re in the hospital, Marty. You’ve been unconscious for more than a week. I guess going Super Saiyan takes a lot out of a guy.”Marty: “Super what? All I remember is Voldo attacking, and cutting yo…
*CLASH*Cindy: “Jesus, how old is that loaf of bread?”Femme de Pain: “Assez vieux pour ??craser votre cr??ne, conasse!”Cindy: “I didn’t get a word of that, but I’m pretty sure you called me something I wouldn’t like if I knew what it was.”Guy: “Eat s…
Hairbrush Santa: “Well, have fun, kid. Street-fighting’s not really my bag, so I’m gonna find a hole to hide in and hope whoever’s alive at the end of this needs a hairstylist.”Keith: “Okay, good luck. I’m gonna see if I can find my ear collection…
Voldo: “Hissssssss!”Keith: “Help me out here — who’s the freak standing on that recycling bin?”Hairbrush Santa: “Show some respect, fella! That’s the big boss himself, Voldo!”Keith: “Oh! Huh. Okay yeah, I probably could’ve guessed that.”Voldo: “H…
Marty: “Oh god I’m gonna die. We’re all gonna die. Huuuurrrrrrl.”Cindy: “You can stop throwing up now, Marty. I’ve brought backup.”more Marty: “Backup? By ‘backup’ you mean like a Panzer division, right? Because otherwise??? holy shit on toast, is t…
Guy: “We are here to speak to the Free Man.” Janitor: “Hahaha, it’s real cute how people call him that. He’s not here, he went off with some girl and a singing robot.” Femme de Pain: “Un robot? Merde!” Keith: “It’s just as well, it’s getting crowd…
Guardbot: “We’re doing what? Where? With the who now?”Cindy: “It’s very simple. While the psychos deal with Ralph the Hatchet, we’re going to go find the last guy they’re after, and recruit him before they can.”Guardbot: “We’re gonna recruit a psy…
Keith: “So??? who’s this guy, again?”Hairbrush Santa: “Ralph the Hatchet. His family got killed in the crossfire in the early days of the war, and it broke his mind.”Keith: “Ah, so that’s why he’s got a little sniper nest up in that clock tower.”Hai…
James Lipton: ???Hello there, internetophiles! I???m celebrity host of Inside the Actors Studio James Lipton. I???m not actually here as part of this story, but since I happened to pop up in the calendar today, I thought I???d take this opportunity to tel…
Minimum Safe Distance 