Lemme get this out of the way real quick, so I can get back to playing Portal 2. Which, by the way, is goddamn awesome, and possibly the best video game I’ve ever played, ever. If it had more exploration in it, it definitely would be. Is it shameful that I’m depriving my audience of a quality article because I want to get back to playing video games? No, because my audience should also be playing Portal 2 right now.

By the way, I poked around in the box of eggs, and determined that, while the newer capsules aren’t in the majority, there’s certainly too many of them to dump them out of hand. There’s also too many to just do them all in a row to get them out of the way — it would be too depressing. I guess I could open them all at once and just present the highlights, but that seems cheap. I guess what I’ll do is just make sure I don’t open new ones twice in a row, so at least we’ll have a better chance of getting something decent every other day.

Like this! From the same set as the mail-delivery scooter, you’ll recall, but much better due to the hinged awning and colorful stickers. Lots of pieces to assemble, too. This is what a Kinder Egg prize should be: colorful and detailed, with lots of parts to assemble. Not a cardboard jigsaw puzzle, not a fundamentally useless “top”, not a trio of crappy lenticular stickers (hippo fans notwithstanding).

Seriously, if I lived in a country where Kinder Eggs are actually sold, I would write a letter and let the Ferrero corporation know that cheaping out on the toys is not doing them any favors. They’ve got a reputation to uphold, and Slime Urchins and messengeroos ain’t it.