Guardbot: “We’re doing what? Where? With the who now?”

Cindy: “It’s very simple. While the psychos deal with Ralph the Hatchet, we’re going to go find the last guy they’re after, and recruit him before they can.”

Guardbot: “We’re gonna recruit a psycho? Did you hit your head on something?”

Cindy: “This guy isn’t actually a psycho, he just ran for with them for a while. I guess when the war first started, there were a few weird crab monsters that showed up with the robots? And this guy really hates crab monsters, I guess. So he fought with the psychos just so he could kill crab monsters, and then when he ran out of crab monsters he sort of wandered off.”

Guardbot: “Is he good at fighting?”

Cindy: “Hairbrush Santa certainly seemed to think so.”

Guardbot: “So where do we find him?”

Cindy: “All I know is that it’s near a really retarded-looking traffic light.”

Guardbot: “Here’s a really retarded-looking traffic light.”

Applepig: “Oink.”

Applepig: “Oink?”

Cindy: “Oh my holy god it’s Gordon Freeman.”

Gordon: “…”