Keith: “So… who’s this guy, again?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Ralph the Hatchet. His family got killed in the crossfire in the early days of the war, and it broke his mind.”

Keith: “Ah, so that’s why he’s got a little sniper nest up in that clock tower.”

Hairbrush Santa: “Yep.”

Keith: “Except, he’s armed with an axe, and not a rifle.”

Hairbrush Santa: “Yep.”

Keith: “Have the psychos ever recruited anyone intelligent? At all?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Just one. The last guy we’re out here to recruit used to be a pretty brilliant physicist.”

Keith: “Huh. Can he fight?”

Hairbrush Santa: “Buddy, he can fight like you wouldn’t believe. Ho ho ho! There’s no way we’ll convince him to join back up, though.”

Keith: “Well, that’s just great.”

Ralph: “Crap, I dropped my hatchet.”