Santa: “Ho ho ho, everybody!”

Janet: “OMG it’s Santa!!”

Marty: “It’s good to see you, Santa. The wizard we got at the end of the last calendar was kind of a dick.”

Santa: “Oh, that guy. Well, it’s not my bag to go around talking shit about my competitors, so I’ll just lay a finger aside of my nose, and if it happens to be the middle one, well, that’s probably just a coincidence.”

Marty: “Right on.”

Santa: “So! Who wants presents?”

Guardbot: “Fuck-yes!!”

Santa: “Since there’s about a million of you, I’m not going to make a big show of giving them out one at a time; it would take forever. But I loaded this train up with a present for each of you, and you can save them up and reveal what they are at some later plot-appropriate juncture.”

Cindy: “A whole train-load of deus ex machinas? Santa, you are the best!”

Santa: “I know it, babe.”

Tinyhelicopterbot: “Whirrrrrrrrrvrrrrrrrrrr!”

Tinyfiretruckbot: “Whoooopwhoooooooop??”

Tinthelicopterbot: “Vrrroooooooooommmm!!”

Tinyfiretruckbot: “Whoopwhoopwhoop! Honk!

Santa: “And as a little bonus I’ll tell you what the heck those two are going on about.  Two of Voldo’s henchmen busted that ear guy out of prison, and now they’re out looking for four of Voldo’s baddest dudes from the original war. They went into hiding after the robots won, and the ear guy and his friends are gonna try to recruit them back and wreck your shit.”

Panicbot: “OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Cindy: “Is it really that big a deal? I mean, the robots beat the psychos last time, right?”

Phil: “Many of our numbers have wandered off or fallen into disrepair in the intervening time. We are not nearly as powerful as we once were.”


Santa: “For my other bonus gift, I’m turning Panicbot off for a while.”

Marty: “Thanks.”

Santa “Anyway, gotta go. If you run into those psychos, look out for the one who looks like me except in black thong underwear. That guy is fucked in the head.”

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