Sir Nigma: “Are you sure about this? We’ve only just met and suddenly you’re wanting to leave. It’s kind of a bummer.”

Marty: “I’m sorry Ed, but finding out that my father is some kind of crazy flail-flailing knight is just really inspiring to me. I was raised in an orphanage, apprenticed to a blacksmith, and when he died, I took over… I’ve never been out of this village. I didn’t even know we had a queen until she came out of that calendar. I want to see the world and have adventures and… and…”

Sir Nigma: “Crush some skulls?”

Marty: “Well, you know, violence is so rarely a solution to one’s problems, but if the situation should present itself… hell yes, absolutely.”

Sir Nigma: “You make an old man very proud.”

FedEx Guy: “Creepy-looking owl statue for you, miss.”

Cindy: “What, really? Not a weapon of some sort?”

FedEx Guy: “Actually I think it’s sculpted out of C-4.”

Cindy: “…”