All right, see, I need to get some actual work done today — I’m supposed to be writing this Nemesis quest thing for KoL, you know? But I figure I’ll do a quick IF review first to warm up. Next on the list is Trein, which Jenni says I should get some good mileage out of.

Oh boy, mysterious disappearances on the night of the Blood Moon. Here’s a question: if these disappearances have been going on for three years, how come I’m only now investigating the place where they actually happened?
“Fantasy Investigator Codename Archer, there have been mysterious disappearances at Trein Hill, and I’m not getting my tithe. I need you to check it out.”
“Sure thing, your majesty. I’ll start in Bermuda, it’s nice there this time of year.”

You can see a Large Table (on which are a Potato Bag, a Vegetables Bag and an Empty Mug), a Stew Pot (in which is a Grain), a Tavern Bench (on which are a Barkeep and a Drunkard), a Tall Guard, a Scarred Guard and an Older Guard here.

Trein’s Main Exports are Guards, Miscellaneous Vegetables, and Capital Letters.

> ask Barkeep about Potatoes
The barkeep only glares at you….No stew for you!

Soup nazi :(

“No one would be foolish enough to be out and about tonight – haven’t you heard the rumors of people disappearing in the mist during today’s festival?!”

Wha?!

The Cracked wall is part of the East Wall, however, there is a rather large fault running from the bottom all the way to the Merlons.
> x merlons
You can’t see any such thing.

Oh come on. You capitalized it and everything!

For a Town where everyone is poor and hungry, I’m sure finding a lot of Money lying around on the Ground.

> give silver to barkeep
The Barkeep seems to thaw a little, “Ye can have yer drop, but don’t ask for more, mind…unless ye have the coin!”
She puts the ale jug on the table.

For as much as I paid for it, there better be more than a Drop in here, Wench.

> x fountain
The fountain is in the centre of the Courtyard, its clear water pouring gently from a marble spout held aloft by a smiling marble woman.
> drink water
You can’t see any such thing.

Boo.

> put torch in bracket
(the Unlit Torch in the Torch Bracket)
That can’t contain things.

I would’ve thought it could contain torches, at least. Christ.

> x bracket
The Torch Bracket seems to be missing a Torch.
> light torch
(the Unlit Torch)
This dangerous act would achieve little.

So I have a Torch Bracket which is missing a Torch which it evidently can’t contain anyway, and an Unlit Torch which is pointless to light. Awesome!

> put torch on bracket
(the Unlit Torch on the Torch Bracket)
As you place the torch on the Torch Bracket, you hear a small hiss to the West.

Ahh. My mistake. Except that, you know, that’s not how Torch Brackets work.

Ohh, the Chamberlain is the bad guy. Well, duh, the Chamberlain is always the bad guy. Seriously, if I ever become King, whenever something goes wrong in the kingdom my immediate default response is going to be “Kill the Chamberlain.”

You can see a Chamberlain’s door and an Evidence here.

Oh thank god. I hate it when I have to figure out this shit for myself, don’t you? All that pesky reading of things and gathering information. Screw that! “Here it is! Big ol’ Bag of Evidence, right here for ya!” Sweet!

Woooo, I won. Now, let’s go back to the save and check out the “This Is Almost Certainly The Wrong Choice But If You Really Want To That’s Cool Too” message I got earlier, just for shits and grins.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
> restore
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
> RESTORE
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?

Well that’s neat. Fortunately, I can load a savegame manually.

There is a Pointy Object, a Dusty Coin and a Pallet in the Cell.
> get pointy
Taken.
> x it
You see a pointy object in the cell, you wonder if you can use it to pick locks.

A “Pointy Object”? Come on, give me a hint at least. (By the way, in case you too were wondering if the Pointy Object can be used to pick locks, the answer is: yes, of course it can, don’t be stupid.)

Wow, wtf? I’ve been in that cell for three years? Are you telling me I’m so lazy I didn’t get around to testing the “Pointy Object = Lock Pick” theory for three years? Well, that’s an interesting twist, I suppose.

Due to a strange twist of fate, you are now the one who must carry the burden of the people and their sins. You are the one who can return joy and prosperity to the people.
*** You have won ***

That’s winning? Sounds like a tremendous pain in the ass to me.

In that game you scored 0 out of a possible 0, in 170 turns.

Pro Tip: If you’re not going to use scoring, turn it off.

Summary: The writing is decent. A couple spelling and punctuation errors here and there, but not anything near as bad as I’ve seen (yes, I’m looking at you, Alex Whitington). Story is… there, I guess. Implementation is thin. I guess the best I can say about it is that it didn’t actually do anything to piss me off. *shrug* Meh.