I got a new phone. Holy fuck, will you look at the pictures it takes! It can focus! And zoom! And flash! It’s almost like a real camera, instead of an oatmeal box with a hole in one end.
Now watch me pull a third messengeroo to commemorate.
New phone.
Minimum Safe Distance 
I’m lovin the applepig hd remix.
To be fair, oatmeal-box-with-a-hole-in-it technology has improved dramatically in the past few years.