Kinder Eggs (12/150) Unaussprechlichen Kindern


I’ll show them,” thought Chip Chipmunk as he waved his magic wand. “Always making fun of my magic powers. ‘All you ever summon is cheap stickers of stereotypical magic items,’ they say. ‘Why don’t you summon something useful, like a… Like a… Like a wizard who can summon something useful.’ Well, I’ll show them useful. I’ll make them wish I’d stuck with stickers. Haha, stuck.”

He waved his magic wand over the brim of his bright orange magician’s hat, and chanted an incantation learned from a tiny book that he’d found inside a chocolate egg. “Ia, ia! Ythagus Cthulu!”

As he continued to chant, his collection of stickers depicting witch’s hats, mirrors, and treasure chests each opened a pair of blank, staring eyes and a lipless gash of a mouth, and screamed syllables that no human tongue had ever uttered. As blood streamed from Chip’s ears, he realized with horror what he had done. He had called forth something that could not be sent back. He had doomed the earth and all of humanity. All living souls would be condemned to a maelstrom of indescribable madness.

(It’s Reader Interaction Day, Minimum Safe Distance fans! What did Chip summon? I was thinking “Another Alvin & the Chipmunks movie”, but if you have something better, put it in the comments! Don’t look at me like that, I have work to do today. Internet game dialog trees don’t write themselves.)

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