Jenni and I went to Pop the Soda Shop the other day, and I picked up a few odd-looking things to review here, like I did ages ago. Except this time, I also got a half a dozen different orange sodas.

See, every time we go to the grocery store and get a couple cartons of Diet Dr Pepper or whatever, I like to also get a six of some nice “gourmet”-style root beer. Except, I would prefer to get nice “gourmet”-style orange soda, because I really like orange soda. However, the only orange soda you can get in glass bottles in a grocery store is orange cream, and fuck that nauseating bullshit.

So I figure I’ll work my way through the orange sodas that Pop Soda has to offer and see what’s best. I got a half-dozen different ones this time, and I figure I can get a different half-dozen next time, and we’ll pit them against each other, tournament style.

Now that’s some fuckin’ excitement right there. Twelve or more orange sodas enter, one orange soda leaves!

Anyway, first up is Boylan Brand Orange Trade Mark Bottleworks. (Yes, I intend to reuse the same stupid joke as before. Suck it up!) (Actually that’d be a good slogan for a soda. “Boylan Brand Orange Trade Mark Bottleworks: Suck it up!”)

Anyway, it’s a nice bottle. Pleasantly understated, and a painted label (which is nice) but *also* the bas-relief, which is even classier. On the back, it says “Registered 1891” — historical! and “Best by 20 MAR 10”… well, goddammit! I missed by three days!

Oh well, it can’t have gone that far off in just three days.

Can we open it now? I’m thirsty.

Smells… peppery? Okay, well, my sense of smell has never been much to brag about, but…

Tastes… well, it’s not very orangey, though on the other hand it’s not overly sweet, which is nice.

Also, it has a distinct flavor of fresh ground black pepper. What the hell? I mean, I like black pepper. I like it a lot more than most people. But there’s a time and a place for everything, right? I don’t pour orange juice into my macaroni & cheese, and I don’t expect to taste pepper in my orange soda.

I don’t see “pepper” in the ingredients list. What does ester gum taste like? Does it turn into pepper three days after manufacturing?

Verdict. Between ‘blah’ and ‘ehn’.