[S] WV: Ascend.


If my previous post about Homestuck (the current MS Paint Adventures storyline) didn’t convince you that this is something you need to be following, maybe the movie for the end of Act II will. (Turn up your sound.)

At this point, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re thinking “Why yes, Riff, that was indeed awesome and I would like to begin paying attention to this. How can I catch up on the plot so that I’ll know what’s going on?”

Well, there’s three ways:

Firstly, you could simply start at the beginning and read. This will take you a looong time, but you won’t be missing out on any of the funny or awesome, and will fully understand what’s happening as the story continues. If you can spare the time, this is absolutely the best way to proceed. Don’t let the slow beginning discourage you — it picks up quickly once the various mechanics have been introduced and explained.

Secondly, you could read the MSPA wiki pages for Act I and Act II, which will give you a rundown of the events that have occurred, and links to supplemental information. This would be much much faster, but like all wikis it’s a dry read.

Thirdly, you could just be incredibly lazy and just read the following quick summary:

The hot new video game to hit the market is called SBURB. When the client software is installed, the player’s actual environment becomes the game environment — it’s a real-life game, basically. A second player, who has installed the server version of the software, can observe the first player’s actions and manipulate their environment in various ways, such as building structures and installing strange machines provided by the game.

JOHN EGBERT has installed the client software, and his friend ROSE LALONDE has installed the server package. (A third character, DAVE STRIDER, has lost his copies of both the client and server to a RAMBUNCTIOUS CROW, and is trying to acquire his BRO’s copies. A fourth character, known only by her internet chat handle “gardenGnostic”, has not really been introduced yet.)

While fooling around with the Sburb machines, John activates a game item called a KERNELSPRITE. It turns out that, once “prototyped” (i.e. combined with) two items, it becomes a sort of magical helper/guide for the player.  John prototyped his kernelsprite with a large harlequin doll and the ashes of his dead grandmother, resulting in a mischievous NANNASPRITE.

The initial release of the kernelsprite also started an ominous countdown timer. Soon, John observed that a huge meteor was on a direct collision-course with his house. All around the world, flaming meteors are falling out of the sky as other players of Sburb reach this point in the game.

Sburb is a game designed to destroy the world.

Luckily, John manages to figure out the machines sufficiently to create a CRUXITE APPLE, which he eats just moments before the meteor hits. His entire house (and a bit of the yard) is transported to a dark void, which the Nannasprite says is called The Medium. Apparently, John’s arrival has unbalanced an eons-old stalemate between the powers of Good and Evil, and now Evil will inevitably win unless John and his friends can do something about it. At the moment, “doing something about it” seems to consist of killing enemies (which, apparently due to John prototyping his kernelsprite with a harlequin doll, are all giggling jester-cap wearing imps) to gain build points (GRIST), and building as high as possible. (Incidentally, the imps have kidnapped John’s DAD.)

Meanwhile, years in the future (but not many), a WAYWARD VAGABOND travelling the post-apocalyptic desert wasteland of Earth has found his (possibly her) way into an underground bunker (apparently where Rose’s house used to be). Important features of the bunker include a computer with four screens (one of which the WV has been using to observe and issue orders to John, and presumably the other three children will be accessable as well, once they have their copies of the game client installed), and an APPEARIFIER which can transport any object into the underground base, so long as its precise spatial and temporal coordinates are known.

While messing around, the WV activates another countdown timer, the result of which is the underground base blasting off into the sky and taking the WV… somewhere else.

And that’s the story so far. Now put the link on your bookmarks bar, and check back every day or so for the continuing adventures.

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