“Ancient Cola”, gothic Rubik’s Cube.

Smells: like a maraschino-cherryier Dr Pepper.

Tastes: Ugh. Cloying. Also, completely flat. (“Well, that makes sense,” says Jenni.) Undrinkable. Excuse me while I go wash my mouth out.

Label: Some sort of asian mountain temple and a ridiculously pink sunset. I guess that’s where they “steep whole botanical herbs, roots, and spices by a unique time and temperature method.” Shame the monks didn’t know how to properly seal the bottles. Yes, monks. Not hippies at all. Monks. From Solana Beach, California.

I can’t think of anything else to say about it. I think Jenni got a bottle of this too — if hers turns out to be drinkable, I’ll update this post

UPDATE: Hers was flat too. Stupid monks.