I haven’t read Jenni’s review of this yet, but I got the feeling she didn’t think much of it (in fact she said she wanted to throw the laptop across the room), so this should be a fun one for all of you to read.
Oh dear. Is this a single-locked-room game? (I would say escape-the-locked-room game, except apparently I don’t want to escape.)
You know English, but for some strange reason you can’t seem to be able to read the manuscript. Wha?!
Generally, I assume a ‘desk’ to be something that has a drawer in it that you can open. A desk you can’t open is a ‘table’. Perhaps it’s just me.
You turn on the lamp. Huh. It glows brightly, but the room is still as dark as before. You wonder why?!
Evil shadows, forming shapes of various monstrosities, look ready to come alive. You think you see one in the shape of a man-eating horse.
…mutant crow. …five-legged octopus. …grue. …tentacled brain. …serpent. …clown. …heffalump. With vicious teeth.
I have now run out of things to do. Hmph.
Okay, the details of my sister’s dress and hair change randomly when I inspect them. This is undoubtedly some sort of clue.
…Is this meant to be some sort of allegory or illustration of what it’s like to be schizophrenic or clinically depressed or something? Now I’m suspicious. I am suspicious of your motives, Jonathan Hay.
No more useful moves have occurred to me. Walkthru time.
“#5 Sheer brute force may not be the best way out. You have to *ahem* critically analyse the reality of your situation *ahem* and make one big leap of logic *ahem*.”
By which you mean “Guess what I was thinking of! You’re psychic, right?”
Okay okay. #4 was to try other senses than sight. Let’s see if this leads to anything.
Okay, screw you. You know what? I tried “wake up” a long time ago. I tried it several times, because I heard the alarm clock ring a long time ago, too. And every goddamn time, I got a bog-standard “But you’re not dreaming!” answer. If something I did since then changed the game state to the point where “wake up” (three more times) would win me the game, then some sort of goddamn information in that regard would have been nice. FAIL. “Oh! It was all a dream!” EPIC FAIL.
If you train hard enough, you hope, you might just get promoted in time to the final fleet sent to conquer the Earth.