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Minimum Safe Distance

Poltergeists make up the principal type of spontaneous material manifestation.

Tag: kindereggs

Written by rifflesbyMarch 26, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (14/150) Badminton Ghost

I went to a party, and it’s pretty late, and I don’t have a lot to say about this ghost playing badminton. He’s kinda cool, I guess. He’s cute. Apparently he changes color if you leave him in the sunlight, but it’s too dark to test that out. I con…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 25, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (13/150) Speed-liner

That is a massive-ass hovercraft. I guess it’s supposed to be like a hovercraft cruise liner? For extra speed? Because when you’re going on a relaxing cruise, it’s important that you get to your destination as quickly as possible. Man I dunno. It …

Written by rifflesbyMarch 23, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (12/150) Unaussprechlichen Kindern

I’ll show them,” thought Chip Chipmunk as he waved his magic wand. “Always making fun of my magic powers. ‘All you ever summon is cheap stickers of stereotypical magic items,’ they say. ‘Why don’t you summon something useful, like a… Like a… L…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 23, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (11/150) Rhino & Ronnie auf Safari

Rhino: “A shifty-eyed ethnic stereotype riding a large gray mammal. This seems familiar.” Ronnie: “What? What ethnic stereotype am I?” Rhino: “You’re swarthy and dark-skinned, you’ve got a big mustache, and you’re wearing a cowboy hat. You’re a Me…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 22, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (11/150) WTF

What the fuck.

Written by rifflesbyMarch 21, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (10/150) Messengeroo

The South Australian messengeroo is a curious and repulsive little creature. Despite its name, it is not related to the kangaroo — it is in fact a small green grub-like creature, made all the more disgusting by its nearly-human facial features an…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 20, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (9/150) Turbo-Blitz

Flash Racecardriver’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel of the Veryfastcar Mark 5, his eyes flicking across the readouts on the instrument panel. The scenery blurred around him as he shifted the throttle into Even Faster mode, t…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 19, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (8/150) Post-Mobil

Man, this is rough. I feel like I’m not fufilling my goals with this project if I don’t come up with a funny or interesting bit of fiction or commentary or something for at least nine out of ten of these things. But look at this, it’s a little mai…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 18, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (7/150) Beaver Attack

The rumbling could be heard across the valley. A flock of birds took wing as their trees fell with a crash. “It’s coming,” said the commander, lowering his telescope. “What is, sir?” “The beaver.” The two recruits looked at each other, then back a…

Written by rifflesbyMarch 16, 2011February 20, 2013

Kinder Eggs (5/150) Steak Escape

“Forget it, Art. I gave up that gig a long time ago.” “I ain’t got anyone else to turn to, Lenny. This mess… it’s too big. It’s too much! We need you.” “I’ve told you over and over. I’m not a detective any more. Get someone else to help you with…

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