That is a massive-ass hovercraft. I guess it’s supposed to be like a hovercraft cruise liner? For extra speed? Because when you’re going on a relaxing cruise, it’s important that you get to your destination as quickly as possible. Man I dunno. It …
I’ll show them,” thought Chip Chipmunk as he waved his magic wand. “Always making fun of my magic powers. ‘All you ever summon is cheap stickers of stereotypical magic items,’ they say. ‘Why don’t you summon something useful, like a… Like a… L…
Sorry if you just got a ton of bullshit in your RSS reader, I was testing and configuring this Posterous iPhone app. Not only do I get sweet HD photos now, but I can snap em and send em without having to resize them in photoshop first! Fuckin A!
Rhino: “A shifty-eyed ethnic stereotype riding a large gray mammal. This seems familiar.” Ronnie: “What? What ethnic stereotype am I?” Rhino: “You’re swarthy and dark-skinned, you’ve got a big mustache, and you’re wearing a cowboy hat. You’re a Me…
I got a new phone. Holy fuck, will you look at the pictures it takes! It can focus! And zoom! And flash! It’s almost like a real camera, instead of an oatmeal box with a hole in one end. Now watch me pull a third messengeroo to commemorate.
What the fuck.
The South Australian messengeroo is a curious and repulsive little creature. Despite its name, it is not related to the kangaroo — it is in fact a small green grub-like creature, made all the more disgusting by its nearly-human facial features an…
Flash Racecardriver’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel of the Veryfastcar Mark 5, his eyes flicking across the readouts on the instrument panel. The scenery blurred around him as he shifted the throttle into Even Faster mode, t…
Man, this is rough. I feel like I’m not fufilling my goals with this project if I don’t come up with a funny or interesting bit of fiction or commentary or something for at least nine out of ten of these things. But look at this, it’s a little mai…
The rumbling could be heard across the valley. A flock of birds took wing as their trees fell with a crash. “It’s coming,” said the commander, lowering his telescope. “What is, sir?” “The beaver.” The two recruits looked at each other, then back a…
Minimum Safe Distance 