Oh god! Well, at least it isn’t the green one again.Man I hate these things. As a concept for a toy they’re bad enough, but they’re not even functional. They don’t bounce! Look at the picture — the whole point of these things is that you put a no…

I hadn’t slept in days. I couldn’t — not if I didn’t want to wake up drowning in my own sweat, screaming till my throat bled. All I had to do was close my eyes, and there they were.The steaks. Those goddamned steaks. Always the same dream. The st…

It’s a bulldozer. Or, well, not a bulldozer, but a??? man I don’t know what these things are called. An excavator, or something?Still, it’s a pretty cool one. Lots of detail, three points of articulation, clear plastic for the cab. And stickers! Put…

The garrison commander’s face was pale as he lowered his telescope. “Well, gentlemen,” he said in a hushed tone as he handed the telescope to one of the recruits, “now we are well and truly fucked.” “What’s the matter, commander?” asked the other …

I am kind of cheaping out on this one. My apologies to the dozen or so of you reading this, but my new 3DS arrived today, and it’s finished charging up. I think that counts as an Extenuating Circumstance. Check this guy out, though! I can hardly b…

From the diary of Professor Henry J. Fenchurch, Chair of Faeriological Studies at Oxford University: February 12, 1893 Discovered two more of those repulsive little slime urchins in my office this evening. Stopped in after my lecture on “Shakespea…

Oh man. This one is pretty awesome, you guys. (It’s funny — there’s a sort of margin of middlingness that a toy has to hit for me to write a story, it seems. If it’s too lame, I end up just grumbling about it, or writing limericks. If it’s too aw…